Parenting Problems: Common Parenting Problems and Solutions

Joanna Marie Santos

March 13, 2023

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Ang pagiging isang magulang ay maaaring maging stress, lalo na kung natatakot ka na hindi mo gagawin ang lahat ng tama. Gayunpaman, tao ka lamang, kaya magkakamali ka bilang isang magulang. Tandaan na wala ka sa iyong sarili. Bawat magulang ay nagkakamali paminsan-minsan.


Kung alam mo kung ano ang hahanapin, maaari mong iwasan ang ilang karaniwang pagkakamali sa pagiging magulang. Magkakaroon ka ng isang hakbang na mas malapit sa pagiging isang mas mahusay na magulang sa pamamagitan ng pag-aaral kung paano maiiwasan ang mga karaniwang error sa pagiging magulang. Narito ang mga common 11 problems sa parenting.


Common Parenting Problems

 

Ignoring to address problems 

Many parents go through months or years of frustration, either because they believe that some issues can't be resolved or because they are simply quick to accept them. Bedtime squabbles, frequent nighttime awakenings that are frequent, temper tantrums, and behavior issues in older children are a few examples of these widespread issues. The majority of issues you encounter as a parent can be resolved, changed, or resolved, even though it may require some effort. Then again, you might require assistance. Your child didn't come with instructions, but many books, websites, and other resources are many books, websites, and other resources that can help you navigate the difficulties of parenting.

 

Overestimating or Underestimating Issues

When you are dealing with challenging or ongoing issues, your pediatrician or another healthcare provider may be able to help. You must first determine what problems there are and what they are not before attempting to solve them. Regrettably, parents occasionally exaggerate or understate the issues they are having with their children. According to Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist with expertise in parenting, maternal mental health, and other areas, parents who undervalue problems with their kids may unintentionally miss important information, such as if their child is struggling with depression or substance use. 


On the other hand, underestimating frequently results from anxiety and can make kids feel like their parents are smothering them. According to Jaclyn Gulotta, Ph.D., LMHC, a licensed mental health counselor and psychologist who specializes in parenting, when parents downplay problems, they run the risk of invalidating their child's feelings and unintentionally teaching them to avoid problems or issues.

 

Unrealistic Expectations

You might even create issues if you set your children up for failure by having irrational expectations for them. This frequently takes place when parents become impatient or frustrated with a 2 1/2-year-old who is still not interested in potty training, a 6-year-old who is wetting the bed, or a moody teenager. Make sure your standards are in line with your child's stage of development. According to Dr. Gulotta, when parents set unrealistic standards for their children, it creates unattainable levels of perfection. "Most kids want to feel loved, particularly by their parents.

"They will experience stress and anxiety if they feel they will disappoint them by failing to live up to these irrational expectations. Additionally, Dr. Gulotta notes that some people struggle with low self-esteem and turn to harmful behaviors for approval. Dr. Guarnotta claims that having unreasonable expectations for your children can also make them feel ashamed if they are unable to live up to them. Additionally, they might start to believe they're not "good enough," which can cause them to feel anxious.


Being Inconsistent 

An inconsistent parenting approach is one of the worst things you can do to your kids. They will find it extremely difficult to understand what is expected of them and how to behave if you are occasionally very strict but give in at other times, or simply don't seem to care what your children are doing. According to Dr. Gulotta, inconsistent parenting or discipline by parents can lead to misunderstandings and mixed messages. Children will not respect their parents' authority if they don't follow through, which could result in a lack of respect. Children may also become anxious and uneasy when their parents are inconsistent.


Ignoring Rules 

The majority of kids, especially younger ones, find it challenging to live without any rules, despite what you may believe to be your good intentions in letting them do whatever they want. Your child will be more aware of what is expected of them throughout the day if you have rules, set boundaries, follow regular routines, and provide few options. According to Dr. Gulotta, there is a risk of negative behavior, temper tantrums, hostility, defiance, and attention-seeking behaviors when parents don't have rules or set limits. Children may cross boundaries and show little to no respect for their parents in the short term, and they may develop a sense of entitlement and expect to get their way in the long term.

 

Verbal conflicts 

Fighting back can take different forms, such as getting irate, yelling, and repeatedly repeating yourself. We're not talking about physically fighting with your child. As a result of their capacity to elicit such strong reactions, kids who fight or argue with you receive negative attention and have a great deal of influence over you. By retaliating, you'll unintentionally reinforce the problem behavior you're trying to stop rather than stop it.

 

Neglecting Change of Mistakes

It's almost as bad a problem not to try to fix problems in the first place as it is to not recognize or change parenting strategies that aren't working. If you have to use time-out on your child every day to address the same issue or behavior, for example, you may believe that it is an effective form of discipline. However, this will not benefit your child. You may need to find a new strategy to help your child fall asleep if, for example, your child keeps getting out of bed during your hour-long bedtime routine, leaving you frustrated and your child exhausted the following morning. If what you are doing isn't working, speak with a healthcare provider or a mental health expert.

 

Failure to Set an Example 

Dr. Guarnotta asserts that kids learn what is appropriate and inappropriate from the role models in their environment. Taking the lead by setting a good example is crucial because children are most exposed to their parents. Positivity can be taught to children by adults who set a good example. Children benefit when they observe effective conflict resolution and communication techniques in use. According to Dr. Gulotta, children pick up effective coping mechanisms from parents who model positive and healthy behavior when faced with difficulties or stressful situations. The ability to interact with others and develop positive interpersonal skills is another thing they learn.

 

Fighting the Battles of Your Child 

Dr. Guarnotta asserts that kids learn what is appropriate and inappropriate from the role models in their environment. Taking the lead by setting a good example is crucial because children are most exposed to their parents. Dr. Guarnotta argues that while there are some instances in which parents should step in to assist their child in resolving a dispute, doing so too frequently prevents kids from learning how to interact with others.

Parents should assert themselves in conflict and set a good example for their young children by doing so. Parents should, however, gradually encourage their children to resolve more conflicts as they get older, she adds. According to Dr. Gulotta, when parents engage in their children's legal disputes, it teaches the latter that they are powerless. Children need to be taught to be assertive and direct. This enables them to establish healthy boundaries with others on their own.


Preventing Mistakes of Your Child 

It's common to want to spare your kids the suffering of making mistakes, but they need to make mistakes to learn and develop. According to Dr. Guarnotta, making mistakes is an opportunity to reflect on what you did, consider what you might do differently in the future, and accept responsibility. The ability to do this is crucial. "Continually saving your kids prevents them from learning in this way," she continues. Furthermore, it might lead to kids having negative self-perceptions.

 

Not listening to your child 

You can help your child feel heard and understood by listening to what they have to say. According to Dr. Gulotta, listening also fosters a closer bond between you and your child and demonstrates your importance to them. Your child's self-concept will benefit from your attentive listening as you model the value of listening to others and help them develop a positive self-concept. Children may feel ignored and struggle with their self-esteem when parents don't listen, she continues. Children "may grow up believing they never measure up to anyone's approval and live in a perpetual state of feeling like a disappointment."


Sa pangkalahatan, the majority of parents set out on their parenting journey to be the intention of being the best parents they possibly can be. No matter how hard they try, they will inevitably make mistakes. Ang pagkilala na ang pagiging magulang ay isang evolvong process na nangangailangan ng pagbagay ay mahalaga. Maaari mong tiyakin na ikaw ang pinakamabisang magulang na maaari mong maging sa pamamagitan ng pagtukoy sa mga karaniwang pagkakamali sa pagiging magulang at pagtatangkang tugunan ang mga ito bago sila maging mga problema. Kadalasan, ang unang hakbang ay ang pagiging flexible at sapat na bukas upang malaman kung kailangan mong pumunta sa ibang direksyon.

 

 

Parental Problems: Mga Common Solutions 


Instead of avoiding problems, address them. Respectful and patient communication and listening are required. Find solutions that both of you are content with. Feel as if you are a team.

Ang iyong parenting style ng pagiging magulang ay may epekto sa kung paano mo at ang iyong partner ay ha-handle sa mga issue o conflict sa relationship. Ang iyong mga anak ay ma-flourish at ma-develop kung ma-approach mo ang mga problema nang positibo at nakabubuo sa positibo at nakabubuo na paraan. Nakikita ng mga bata ang iyong mga behavior kapag napagmamasdan ka nilang mannerisims at conversions sa iyong kapareha sa ganitong paraan. Maaari silang matuto ng mahahalagang aral sa buhay mula rito. Kapag ikaw at ang iyong significant other ay magsa-solve ng mga problema, nakakatulong ka sa happiness, stability, at well-being ng buong family niyo. At tumulong ka sa pagprotekta sa iyong mga anak mula sa mga negative effects of conflict.

 

 


Sources: 


https://www.verywellfamily.com/common-parenting-mistakes-2633998
https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/looking-after-yourself/communication-conflict/problem-solving-for-parents